I saw her number on the phone this Saturday.Part of my resolution of keeping in touch with friends old and new, I thought I’d make the call. I didn’t know if she changed her number cause it’s been more than a year since I heard from her.
Speaking of her, well, she was one of those very likeable, attractive girls. We were classmates in that coaching class long ago. But we hit it off quickly and became real great friends.After those days I dunno what caused me to lose touch for such a long time.Was it college or new friends? Dunno... boy, what was I thinking, not keeping contact for so long? Damn me!
Conjuring up these thoughts in mind I took a deep breath and pressed the call button.Does she still remember me? Those funny moments we had together and the awkward ones when our eyes met...... Well,ok yeah I did have a thing for her.She did for me too, I could see then I think.But we weren’t sure what to make of it then. But anyway, it starts to ring.
Her dialer tone is one of my favorite tunes.”Cool, she has the same musical taste,” I thought.
She picks up after a lot of rings.
She: Hello?
Me: Hello, Jessica? Jessy? This is me Robby.We went for creative arts coaching classes together some time ago. Remember me?
Eerie silence on the line for a few seconds.....
Me: Hello? Are you there?
She: (Sniff)Yes. Um, Robby this is a bad time, I’m sorry. It’s a pleasant surprise to hear from you after so long.....(Sniff) (Panting)
Me: Oh, sorry were you in the middle of something? I’m sorry,I know it’s been a long time since I called.Didn’t even know if this was still your number. Great to hear you again.When can I call you back?
Jessy: U’m...Robby Robby, no listen..I’ll maybe call you back ok? (more sniffs and heavy panting )
Me: Ok, sure Jessy! Please do...you sound different and in some kind of hurry.Just wanted to reignite the friendship with some old memories and know how far we’ve moved on...I’ll wait for your call.
(Crying heard over the phone)
Jessy! Jessy! Are you all right? Why are you crying? What happened?
Jessy: (Sniff) Robby..um...I’m sorry, (a couple more sniffs)..I don’t think I’ll ever be able to call you again!
Me: What? Hey, I said i’m sorry Jessy.Honest! I should’ve called you much earlier.I apologize. I really am sorry, please don’t cry!
Jessy:Hey, it’s not about you.I mean I was disappointed when you didn’t call for so long. But it’s not that. I’m not.....feeling so good right now....
Me: Are you sure? What happened? Come on tell me. You used to share everything with me! Maybe I can help. Are you sick? It kills me to hear you cry!
(Around 30 seconds of some wailing and sniffing later)
J: What can you do? It’s all my fault! I’m sick of life already! I’m gonna end it! You know what? I’m talking from the edge of the terrace of our hostel. I can see the pavement a long way below. I’m going to be a pile of bones for those street dogs to lick tomorrow...I’ll be in the papers. That’ll make a few people happy!
Me: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT??????????????!!!! Are you serious?
J: Have you known me to lie?
(Ya it’s true...this gal was one of a kind..she wouldn’t lie no matter what. And if she set her mind on something, she was known to do it without fail.One reason i really admired her for and all the more reason for me to panic!)
Me: JESSY! JESSY! ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND!!!!!!????? GET DOWN NOW!!!! Get away from there now! There’s no problem we can’t solve.Listen to me and get away from there and talk to me now! You heard that? Get back to your room or some place safe! Now!
(Silence....)
Me: Hello! Jessy, listen to me please! I beg you, don’t do it. Get away now!
(Silence...)
( I really wished I could pull her away from where she was right now)
J: (Sniffle) Yeah I guess it wouldn’t hurt to tell you before I go.
Me: You’re not going anywhere! You heard that? Are you away from the edge now? Please tell me you are!
J:Yeah I am now.
Me: Ok, good. Now calm down, sit somewhere and tell me everything that has happened. Slowly.
J:Well it all started last year after you left coaching.Since you never wanted to call me after you went to your new university (I bit my tongue)...I thought fine,I should move on too. But it wasn’t as easy. I was pretty lonely you know. Other school friends were just like you. Never called or SMSed at least.All busy with their new lives and campuses. Anyway, when I got to my college I also made new friends.Or rather I thought they were friends. You know Robby, they just wanted to use me, all they wanted was my notes, my money, my contacts, my everything. Nobody wanted me! The person I am. They wouldn’t call me for fun trips or tours. They wouldn’t want to talk to me. I was always categorized. I was always lonely. (Sobs a little)
Well amidst all this is when Bryan happened.
Me: Bryan?
J: Yeah. He was someone different or so I thought. Well to cut a long story short....he used me too! I was betrayed, used and just uncared for.And yeah, you might ask where my parents were during all this? Oh yeah, haven’t heard from dad in months. Mom occasionally calls when she gets “time” away from her “work.” They divorced 6 months ago.
Me: .....Oh man! Thats terrible! (Geez, this gals suffered a lot!)
(Well she went on to tell me more..all heart-rending tales.It went on for more than 20 minutes. I was sure my phone balance was nearing single figures...)
J: Well yeah, thats what i’ve been through. And so when I felt all hope was lost I thought, I’ll finish it all. It’s not like anyone cares anyway....
Me: Jess..listen I understand what you’ve been through and i’m shocked to bits. I’ve always known you to be a fun chatter box, making everyone’s gloomy day bright. You always had that postivity in you. Why did it ever cross your mind that you were useless? Why did it ever cross your mind that no one cares for u? How could you even think of jumping off a building? Why didn’t you think about me? (Whoops!!!!)
J: You didn’t call me or give me your number you moron!! How was i supposed to think you cared?
Me: Er....um...See Jess, life has its ups and downs.(yeah, I know, i couldn’t come up with anything better than this common line!) Just finishing it won’t settle things. Only you lose.You’ve still got a long life to live.Don’t think you don’t have anybody who cares. You’ve got me if thats any consolation.
(And thats when I said it, i dunno which movie I got this from, but it just came outta my mouth...)
“You’ll always have me, baybee!”
(After a few tense seconds....l hear her laughing. “Good sign!” I thought. I guess the cheesy line worked! Yipee yay!!)
J: Dude! Thats so cheesy! And funny! (laughs)....But thank you that does make me feel better. Loads better!
(Thank goodness! I heaved a sigh of relief. Yipee yay!)
Me: Ok Jess, looks like my balance is dying out. I’ll call you tomorrow....ok?
J: Sure bud( Bud? She still thinks I’m buddies? Didn’t she get the hint?).....
I....(BEEP)
( Balance got over. I couldn’t hear the last line.I banged my hand against the wall. Ouch!)
Sent her a message through my friends phone asking her to sleep.Wishing her good night.
And slowly after a little introspection over the events that just happened. I fell asleep on my bed too.
I woke up the next day and found her message from yesterday:
yes, i will sleep sweetheart. Thanks for everything!
Whoo hoo! She called me sweet heart! Can you believe it! Well yeah, ok i know you’re laughing....But come on its not everyday a girl you like calls you something like ‘Sweetheart’..however cheesy that sounds!
Well I recharged my phone with the last 50 rupee note I had for the week. Never expected yesterdays balance to finish just like that.I’m penniless now. Called her later in the afternoon.No one picked up. Called her in the evening...again...no response. Later in the night I got a call from her phone.....
Someone said something like fell down the stairs....or slipped...or jumped..I couldn’t listen..my head was spinning.....
Whether she jumped, or slipped nobody knows...She died instantly. A painful way too....She's gone......
Was I able to stop her from dying? No...Was I able to bring a ray of sunshine back into her life? I’ll never know.......
All I know is that my sweetheart went to sleep that night........
Speaking of her, well, she was one of those very likeable, attractive girls. We were classmates in that coaching class long ago. But we hit it off quickly and became real great friends.After those days I dunno what caused me to lose touch for such a long time.Was it college or new friends? Dunno... boy, what was I thinking, not keeping contact for so long? Damn me!
Conjuring up these thoughts in mind I took a deep breath and pressed the call button.Does she still remember me? Those funny moments we had together and the awkward ones when our eyes met...... Well,ok yeah I did have a thing for her.She did for me too, I could see then I think.But we weren’t sure what to make of it then. But anyway, it starts to ring.
Her dialer tone is one of my favorite tunes.”Cool, she has the same musical taste,” I thought.
She picks up after a lot of rings.
She: Hello?
Me: Hello, Jessica? Jessy? This is me Robby.We went for creative arts coaching classes together some time ago. Remember me?
Eerie silence on the line for a few seconds.....
Me: Hello? Are you there?
She: (Sniff)Yes. Um, Robby this is a bad time, I’m sorry. It’s a pleasant surprise to hear from you after so long.....(Sniff) (Panting)
Me: Oh, sorry were you in the middle of something? I’m sorry,I know it’s been a long time since I called.Didn’t even know if this was still your number. Great to hear you again.When can I call you back?
Jessy: U’m...Robby Robby, no listen..I’ll maybe call you back ok? (more sniffs and heavy panting )
Me: Ok, sure Jessy! Please do...you sound different and in some kind of hurry.Just wanted to reignite the friendship with some old memories and know how far we’ve moved on...I’ll wait for your call.
(Crying heard over the phone)
Jessy! Jessy! Are you all right? Why are you crying? What happened?
Jessy: (Sniff) Robby..um...I’m sorry, (a couple more sniffs)..I don’t think I’ll ever be able to call you again!
Me: What? Hey, I said i’m sorry Jessy.Honest! I should’ve called you much earlier.I apologize. I really am sorry, please don’t cry!
Jessy:Hey, it’s not about you.I mean I was disappointed when you didn’t call for so long. But it’s not that. I’m not.....feeling so good right now....
Me: Are you sure? What happened? Come on tell me. You used to share everything with me! Maybe I can help. Are you sick? It kills me to hear you cry!
(Around 30 seconds of some wailing and sniffing later)
J: What can you do? It’s all my fault! I’m sick of life already! I’m gonna end it! You know what? I’m talking from the edge of the terrace of our hostel. I can see the pavement a long way below. I’m going to be a pile of bones for those street dogs to lick tomorrow...I’ll be in the papers. That’ll make a few people happy!
Me: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT??????????????!!!! Are you serious?
J: Have you known me to lie?
(Ya it’s true...this gal was one of a kind..she wouldn’t lie no matter what. And if she set her mind on something, she was known to do it without fail.One reason i really admired her for and all the more reason for me to panic!)
Me: JESSY! JESSY! ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND!!!!!!????? GET DOWN NOW!!!! Get away from there now! There’s no problem we can’t solve.Listen to me and get away from there and talk to me now! You heard that? Get back to your room or some place safe! Now!
(Silence....)
Me: Hello! Jessy, listen to me please! I beg you, don’t do it. Get away now!
(Silence...)
( I really wished I could pull her away from where she was right now)
J: (Sniffle) Yeah I guess it wouldn’t hurt to tell you before I go.
Me: You’re not going anywhere! You heard that? Are you away from the edge now? Please tell me you are!
J:Yeah I am now.
Me: Ok, good. Now calm down, sit somewhere and tell me everything that has happened. Slowly.
J:Well it all started last year after you left coaching.Since you never wanted to call me after you went to your new university (I bit my tongue)...I thought fine,I should move on too. But it wasn’t as easy. I was pretty lonely you know. Other school friends were just like you. Never called or SMSed at least.All busy with their new lives and campuses. Anyway, when I got to my college I also made new friends.Or rather I thought they were friends. You know Robby, they just wanted to use me, all they wanted was my notes, my money, my contacts, my everything. Nobody wanted me! The person I am. They wouldn’t call me for fun trips or tours. They wouldn’t want to talk to me. I was always categorized. I was always lonely. (Sobs a little)
Well amidst all this is when Bryan happened.
Me: Bryan?
J: Yeah. He was someone different or so I thought. Well to cut a long story short....he used me too! I was betrayed, used and just uncared for.And yeah, you might ask where my parents were during all this? Oh yeah, haven’t heard from dad in months. Mom occasionally calls when she gets “time” away from her “work.” They divorced 6 months ago.
Me: .....Oh man! Thats terrible! (Geez, this gals suffered a lot!)
(Well she went on to tell me more..all heart-rending tales.It went on for more than 20 minutes. I was sure my phone balance was nearing single figures...)
J: Well yeah, thats what i’ve been through. And so when I felt all hope was lost I thought, I’ll finish it all. It’s not like anyone cares anyway....
Me: Jess..listen I understand what you’ve been through and i’m shocked to bits. I’ve always known you to be a fun chatter box, making everyone’s gloomy day bright. You always had that postivity in you. Why did it ever cross your mind that you were useless? Why did it ever cross your mind that no one cares for u? How could you even think of jumping off a building? Why didn’t you think about me? (Whoops!!!!)
J: You didn’t call me or give me your number you moron!! How was i supposed to think you cared?
Me: Er....um...See Jess, life has its ups and downs.(yeah, I know, i couldn’t come up with anything better than this common line!) Just finishing it won’t settle things. Only you lose.You’ve still got a long life to live.Don’t think you don’t have anybody who cares. You’ve got me if thats any consolation.
(And thats when I said it, i dunno which movie I got this from, but it just came outta my mouth...)
“You’ll always have me, baybee!”
(After a few tense seconds....l hear her laughing. “Good sign!” I thought. I guess the cheesy line worked! Yipee yay!!)
J: Dude! Thats so cheesy! And funny! (laughs)....But thank you that does make me feel better. Loads better!
(Thank goodness! I heaved a sigh of relief. Yipee yay!)
Me: Ok Jess, looks like my balance is dying out. I’ll call you tomorrow....ok?
J: Sure bud( Bud? She still thinks I’m buddies? Didn’t she get the hint?).....
I....(BEEP)
( Balance got over. I couldn’t hear the last line.I banged my hand against the wall. Ouch!)
Sent her a message through my friends phone asking her to sleep.Wishing her good night.
And slowly after a little introspection over the events that just happened. I fell asleep on my bed too.
I woke up the next day and found her message from yesterday:
yes, i will sleep sweetheart. Thanks for everything!
Whoo hoo! She called me sweet heart! Can you believe it! Well yeah, ok i know you’re laughing....But come on its not everyday a girl you like calls you something like ‘Sweetheart’..however cheesy that sounds!
Well I recharged my phone with the last 50 rupee note I had for the week. Never expected yesterdays balance to finish just like that.I’m penniless now. Called her later in the afternoon.No one picked up. Called her in the evening...again...no response. Later in the night I got a call from her phone.....
Someone said something like fell down the stairs....or slipped...or jumped..I couldn’t listen..my head was spinning.....
Whether she jumped, or slipped nobody knows...She died instantly. A painful way too....She's gone......
Was I able to stop her from dying? No...Was I able to bring a ray of sunshine back into her life? I’ll never know.......
All I know is that my sweetheart went to sleep that night........
